I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
