ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My hand turned me down
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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