For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
