Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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