Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
