i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
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