still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
