Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
