i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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