from now on my penis is your penis
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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