I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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