we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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