So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
