I love watching others lives come down to our level.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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