I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
