Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
