If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize