When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
