worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
