Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
