Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You ate ashes out of my bong
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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