I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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