Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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