you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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