i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
