it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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