I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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