benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I didn't notice because vodka
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize