you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
