Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
