I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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