yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize