Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
