u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
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