I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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