i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
