I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
