They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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