You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
