i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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