how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
