Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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