I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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