I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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