Little spoons don't ask big questions
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I am mentally ready for anal.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize