Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
zippers are such a cool invention
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize