i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
