Betty ford says i'm here all night
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
How external is "for external use only"?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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