After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
