I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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