the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I want her autograph on my taint
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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