you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
