I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
