Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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