Say something about gay babies.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
