I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize