Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
