ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am