I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
