everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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