Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
