There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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