Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
