Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize