We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
