loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
